The 3rd Watch: The "Job" No One Interviewed You For, But You Got Hired Anyway!
Clocking Out of the 3rd Watch: Why It's Time to Rethink Unpaid Overtime in the Family Business
Ah, the infamous 3rd Watch! It's a job more complex than assembling IKEA furniture without instructions. And I'm not just talking about the humdrum tasks of cleaning, cooking, and playing nanny to a fur baby or a real one.
Nope! It's remembering Aunt Sally's third divorce anniversary, making sure Timmy's at soccer practice, and God forbid, knowing when the house plants need to be watered. This part of the 3rd watch has been designed mainly for women; thanks to society's uncanny knack for gender-boxing, it's a role you don't apply for as a woman, but nearly everyone gets it!
And you guys! —men, you are not off the hook!
The 3rd Watch sneakily manifests in the traditional male roles as well. Have you been made to believe that your role is being the household's 'Chief Handyman, and perhaps you've been judged accordingly?' Can't fix a leaky faucet or paint the living room straight? Well, mate, have you been told you are practically useless? Society expects you to know your way around a hardware store like it's your second home.
Regardless if you are up for it or not -- right?
Well, maybe that’s how your wife, a girlfriend or a partner feels about the role she was hired for…without applying.
To be super clear, there is nothing wrong with being a handyman, cooking, and remembering Aunt Sally’s third divorce anniversary — if that’s what you love to do. My point is we are all trying to fit into the script our society has given us.
Becoming aware that your script might not serve you at this point is critical.
The sneaky part of habits and rituals that occupy way too much of our mental space.
Now, here's a chuckle-worthy thought. I've been pondering over the question: How many couples actually sit down and discuss these invisible roles before they move in together or tie the knot? I don't think many do that, but I know from experience that the assumptions you had engraved into your system start to sneak up on you when you see your partner perhaps isn't as equipped to your expectations according to the stereotypical gender role. I know my mother kept expecting my dad to be the handyman in the house, but my lord, he couldn’t knock a nail on the wall.
Why should we care about the 3rd shift and who signs up for it?
Because it's a thorny leadership issue, perpetuating gender inequality while masquerading as "normal."
Watch out; your 3rd shift could be a part of your identity!
Don't be fooled; the 3rd Watch isn't just a responsibility; it's often a big part of your identity!
A heirloom handed down from generations past, like some family crest—but one that exhausts you and doesn't look nearly as cool on a shield.
You see, society has been pulling a fast one on us. When stress levels go through the roof, they slap a 'burnout' label on it and give you a pill. As if it's just an individual failing.
No, my friend, it's the 3rd Watch quietly snickering in the background, high-fiving outdated traditions.
This is not just any job; it's heritage! Handed down through generations like your grandma's silverware, this inheritance weighs far more heavily.
And we wonder why we're stressed.
I talked about this with Gido Schimanski on his Instagram Live. At the ripe age of 62, I questioned: when will I shed these hand-me-down tasks? Just because my ancestors did it doesn't mean it's serving my "best self" agenda.
Following a script rather than following my intuition, and inner guidance.
Change your identity, and turn on your inner GPS.
Here's the game-changer: If you're not into managing this chaotic portfolio, it's high time to redefine your identity. Make room for the new you, which doesn't include being the family's unsalaried project manager.
The first step in the right direction? Acknowledge that the 3rd Watch exists and decide if it's a gig you want to keep. If not, then hallelujah, let's drop it like a hot potato!
Changing my ‘old self’ to someone open to receiving a helping hand.
Quick shameless plug—looking for more uncensored thoughts on breaking free from societal norms? My upcoming book, "Beyond Gender: The New Rules of Leadership," is your guide to exiting the highway of clichés and onto your chosen scenic route. And hey, if you want to support this pirate ship, I've got a fundraising campaign to hire an editor and get this book out in print and Kindle.
Be part of the movement!
Let's retire the 3rd Watch, shall we? Unless, of course, you like working overtime without pay.
Cheers! 🥂
Reykjavík, Iceland, October 15th 2023
Join me in shaping a transformative guide that breaks free from the constraints of gender.
This summer, I've poured my heart and soul into my upcoming book, 'Beyond Gender: The New Rules of Leadership.'
This isn't just a book; it's a guided holistic journey into a future where we see each other for who we genuinely are, liberated from the shackles of gender assumptions. Much like my previous books, 'Branding Your X-factor' and 'The Story of Boxes,' 'Beyond Gender' seeks to empower individuals by uncovering our unique superpowers and understanding the consequences of separating ourselves from labels and boxes.
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