What if...we were open to learning and having different gender equality conversations?
It’s week 3 with my ‘What if…’ blogs, my journey exploring, expanding and hopefully escaping many of the gender stereotype boxes.
The first 9 blogs are out there, and I can see these speculations are far from being accepted by people. In some places, I hear people are far from having even a slightly different conversation than they have had in decades, centuries even.
I’ve observed that people are generally not ready to stop for a millisecond and think deeply about the questions I’d been asking in each blog post.
And I will be honest here. I’m not receiving not many likes or comments from people reading the blog or my social media posts.
However, I see how many people read my blog and social media posts. And that number is rising. After good thought around those numbers, I’m starting to see that people are reading, just not responding publicly… yet!
At the same time I have heard privately from people who have used my ‘What if…?’ questions in both small and large audiences to see people’s reactions.
One ‘What if…?’ question stirred the status quo in Australia.
A week ago, at a conference in Australia, my blog post: ‘What if… it would be socially accepted for boys to wear skirts and dresses as it is for girls’ up. The audience was a group of senior leaders in the human resources departments in the Australian workplace, looking at Health & Wellness in the workplace.
Generally, people were against the possibility of boys being allowed to wear dresses if they wanted to. For this audience, this was impossible, and it would be disastrous. The need to distinguish the genders by how people dress would, in their minds, stir up the whole society.
One courageous person raised their hand, and hell broke loose!
Until one person said: “Well, why not? Why would it not be acceptable for boys to wear what they liked”?
The reaction in that conference room heated up quickly. Within a short time, two security guards escorted that courageous person out of the conference room!
Why was that person escorted out?
My take on it; is Because they were courageous enough to create space for a different kind of conversation.
All they said was: “Well, why not?”
In my mind, what they did was be open to exploring and expanding a socially constructed gender stereotype box!
That person wasn’t saying ALL boys should wear dresses.
That person merely asked; Why should boys not be able to choose, as girls do?
That person was willing to open up for a different dialogue around a topic that is affecting our present moment and the future.
That person was ready to learn, to understand something that is different from the norm.
That person was willing to raise her hand and point something out!
That person action reminded me of the story of the Emperor who didn’t have any clothes!
Like in the story of the Emperor, one little boy wasn’t afraid to point something out that nobody else dared to. The rest of the crowd in that story chose to see the world as they were told by society.
Or when Aristotle pointed out that the Earth wasn’t flat. People were angry because somebody was telling them something that was generally seen differently. Generally, people believed that the Earth was flat.
Can you imagine how difficult that must have been for them to turn that belief around?
Yes, there is a lot of pressure to conform to the gender stereotypes imposed on us from a young age. We are often scared of what people say if we don’t comply with the prescribed behaviours for our gender. This can cause us to act in ways that are not true to ourselves and can lead to unhappiness and frustration. Depression and suicide even.
“There is so much more we need to learn and understand. Therefore to be open to learning, understanding, and questioning our social constructed gender box is, in my view, the absolute first step.”
The best way to face and overcome this fear is by being the change. Allowing yourself to be curious shows others that breaking out of the mould and being yourself is okay. When we see others doing this, it helps us to feel more comfortable in our own skin. It makes it easier for us to express ourselves authentically.
Now, I don’t know who that woman was who stood up at that conference in Australia, but I’m so grateful for showing that courage.
We’ve got to remind ourselves that we are constantly evolving as humans. What is accepted in one society but not in another is only a social construct; it’s all made up!
It’s up to us as individuals to allow ourselves to be open to learning, understand and build the bridges to where we are evolving.
Just imagine what that would give you back, allowing people around you to thrive, not merely survive.
Rúna Magnúsdóttir, Inspirational Speaker and Podcast Guest on Self-Leadership and The New Paradigm for Gender Equity