Embracing Authenticity: A Journey of Self-Reflection and the Challenge of Acceptance
Welcome to another observation in my world of little boxes.
One of my favourite boxes to open is the gender box. I love to open up, clean up, and explore how to free myself and others from the social conditions that stereotypical gender roles constrain us.
This journey has helped me to help my clients to become better, bolder and brighter as the leading light in their industry. This journey has also helped me better understand myself and see where to improve my game.
I'm enjoying my journey writing, coaching and speaking about human liberation, peace and happiness - the tangible gender equity.
I talk endlessly about breaking free from societal norms and gender stereotypes and encouraging people to be their true selves. As an active advocate for such liberation, I have dedicated my life to creating spaces where individuals can discover and embrace their authentic identities.
A White-Middle Age American Man Sparked a Question for the Authenticity of My Mission.
There is something so magical and courageous about seeing people being authentic; however, a recent encounter in an airport lounge has sparked a profound realisation, prompting me to question the authenticity of my mission.
This introspection has opened up a deeper understanding of who I am and what it truly means to accept others.
Just a moment ago, in an airport lounge on my way to attend a special gender equality conference at the United Nations HQ in Geneva, I had a moment!
A moment of self-discovery.
When are you, yourself, not your social conditions?
So there I am, in the airport lounge, beaming excitedly, surrounded by a diverse group of travellers. Amidst the bustling atmosphere, my attention is drawn to a particular guest who seems unperturbed by the chaos. He is engrossed in a game on his phone without wearing headphones. The game is loud; there isn’t a person in that lounge that doesn’t hear it!
Observing him, I am momentarily taken aback and experience a surge of conflicting emotions.
Looking at him, I notice he is pretty comfortable with this, and a new thought pops up in my mind; "Ahhh... perhaps he has read one of my blogs and is embracing his own authenticity! "
However, since very few people read my blog post, I don't go further with that thought ;-)
My next thought: "Maybe he is just used to doing his thing; maybe he has never been pushed at? Maybe he genuinely believes he is the centre of the universe?"
I can feel my reactions and judgements rising in my body. "Another white middle-aged American thinking owns the world" I can hear my inner critic voice starting to box that guy into a not-very-liberating box.
It's never about what others do; it's always about you!
He is only showing me something I need to look into internally for myself.
Here's what I discovered about myself:
I believe I am very open to accepting people's authenticity. At this moment, I’m noticing it’s true if done on my own terms ;-) (I do hope you are smiling reading this, I am, at least, as I find this sad and funny simultaneously).
My gender box is very much alive and kicking. I did judge that guy within a minute, most likely within 10 seconds. Making him an arrogant American male-chauvinist pig with no manners. His behaviour has been accepted in his little world when he is most likely doing just as he has always done.
I understand that for me to grow and be, as much as possible, the highest version of myself. I consistently need to question my judgement and check in with myself, whether I genuinely want people to be themselves or only accept them when they conform to my ideals.
Unveiling Self-Discovery:
This encounter at the airport lounge has opened a gateway to self-reflection and deeper self-knowledge.
Are the things we say we want for others mainly what we need for ourselves?
This introspection made me go deeper. Is this freedom thing just something that I want for myself? Being free to be me? It has made me confront the inherent biases and limitations within myself. In my pursuit of creating spaces for authenticity, my subjective preferences inadvertently influenced my vision. True acceptance means embracing the full spectrum of human expression, even when it diverges from our personal expectations.
The journey continues... stay tuned!
Author: Runa Magnusdottir, an international speaker, leadership coach and mentor. Ambassador for The New Paradigm for Gender Equity - The Manifesto.