What if…you didn't have to live and behave as your socially constructed gender box?

I believe that every one of us is born on this planet with a unique gift; our purpose is to share it. Just like we all have a different thumbprints, we all have an added advantage that is meant to be shared.

Many cultures support this belief of mine.  

The Chinese philosophy indicates that we make a promise to our world when we are born. A commitment to be something, learn something or experience something. And we are given a set of 5 elements of energy to help us fulfil our promise.   

In the East Meds West Podcast Episode: Yin Yang Busted, hosted by Dr Carolyn Eddelston, my business partner in the No More Boxes Movement, Nicholas Haines, the creator and founder of The Vitality Test and has over 40 years of experience in the energy field as a health practitioner, talks about that there is no indication that there exists anything that can be seen as masculine or feminine energies in our area of energies as human beings.  

Gina Rippon, who wrote The Gendered Brain, talks about how over 20.000 research with over 2 million people on their brains have shown that you can not see any difference between a male and a female brain. 

Throughout history, different societies have created traditions, habits and rituals that have forced people of their genders to align to be accepted in their communities.  

And we are so good at adjusting to the 'norm'; we want to be safe, feel valued, and understood. 

As a Human Being, You Only Mirror Your Cultures Habits, Rituals and Traditions.

Highly recommend watching this 13-minute video from Nicholas Haines, my co-founder in the No More Boxes The Transformational Movement on this topic.

It does not mean that YOU ARE what your culture/community has created as a habit, rituals and traditions.  It sure might look and feel that way as this is what seems to be the ‘norm’ around you, but believe me, you are so much more than that!

Let me ask you two questions:

1. Have you accepted your gender roles because of the traditional roles you grew up with? - (I’m thinking … you most likely have, that’s what most of us do anyway)

2. Have you ever questioned the habits and rituals placed on you because of your gender? If you have, you've most likely noticed different traditions and practices in other communities and countries!

In one culture, my country Iceland an example, it is socially acceptable for fathers to proudly stroll around town with their children. We don't think anything of it. Nobody is turning their heads over the fact that fathers are taking parental leaves. It’s our social norm.

In other countries, that same man would be socially isolated. Reticulated if he would even consider being his toddler's primary caregiver. He would be regarded as strange, weird, not man enough. Or people would feel sorry for him, and he could get extra attention for being such a good man, taking care of his child! - see blog post: What if...men taking ‘the third shift’ don’t get a particular comment about it?

The same thing goes with the traditional roles of women. 

In one country, women can be what they choose to become. They don't see anything wrong with being ambitious, fast forward thinking, action takers etc. They do things equally with their partners, and culture takes the parts that used to be the traditional women's role.  

In other cultures, that is unthinkable. You are judged harshly if you do!

So… it's not as if the gender can do both roles; it is more about whether society accepts us as the person we were born to be.

“Our gender roles are merely a social construct; it's up to you and me to change them!” ~ Rúna Magnúsdóttir [TWEET THIS]

If you grew up being told that you should be the provider as a man? That you are weak if you show emotions? That you need to be the fixer? That you need to lead your family etc.? That having interest in cosmetics, being a caregiver, fashion designer or hairdresser could be risky because that might seem that you are not man enough!  

And you feel you would love to let go of that social construct. You feel in every cell of your body that you would feel better, enjoy your life, be happier, give you more freedom, etc.

You not only CAN do it! I would like to encourage you to: Just do it!

Become the change you want to see in your environment, and show people that you are much more than the social construct you might have been born into.

Or if you grew up as a woman. Experiencing the unwritten rule for women is to be quiet! That it isn't feminine to be ambitious when you are at the core, fast forward thinking individual who loves to set big ambitious goals.

You, too, can change! Allowing your soul to show up as the authentic self is crucial for you, your family, your co-workers, and your environment.

And I get it. This can seem so complicated, and it's so easy to be overwhelmed and move from the thought of even questioning the status quo.

However, on my journey as a woman myself, a leadership coach and mentor for thought-leaders, entrepreneurs and the new paradigm politicians in our world. I've seen the magic in our lives when we let go. 

• Letting go of the belief that it is wrong to be ambitious as a woman.  

• Letting go of the belief that you have a right to be strong and forceful as a man.

• Letting go of so many unwritten rules created by your society to hold you enslaved in that gender box.

I firmly believe it is up to us to determine if we will follow that social construct blindly.  

Regardless of your situation, where you were born or which gender. We are responsible for using our time in this life to the fullest. To go through life's journey with a growth mindset, ready and 100% committed to looking at every obstacle on our way, not as a hurdle you can't overcome. But more importantly, look at it as a challenge you can tackle and with a helping hand from people around you, you grow and evolve. 

Two essential questions to ask yourself.

1. Do I seriously want to live and face the consequences of behaving as my socially constructed gender box?

2. What does it take for me to open up to explore who I could become and how I can feel fulfilled on the journey to more joy and freedom?

As your leadership coach and mentor, I say: Don't ever let the socially constructed gender box get in the way of you living your life as the authentic self.

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PS: Want to explore, expand and even escape your socially constructed gender box? Join me and the co-founder of No More Boxes The Transformational Movement on our monthly live calls on the topic: Men are from Mars, Women from Venus. Deception or truth?