What if we looked beyond the gender stereotype?

Men should be strong and tough,

But not all men are buff,

Some like to cook and sew,

And that's just fine, enough.

Women should be gentle and sweet,

But not all women are kind,

Some like to climb and compete,

And leave all stereotypes behind.

Stereotypes are made to be broken,

So let's not follow them blindly,

Let's be ourselves, unspoken,

And let our true selves shine brightly.

So let's embrace diversity,

And let go of societal norms,

For in true individuality,

Is where true beauty is born.

Have you ever thought about how silly it is to expect someone who looks like a woman to behave in one particular way? And something different when you see a person who looks like a man! 

How wildly crazy and silly it is to expect men to be leaders! Holy moly, what an illusion that stereotype is!

Can you see the consequences of believing that if the person standing before you is a male, he is a leader? 

Or women to be kind and caring - yeah, right, we all know people can be kind and loving; it has nothing to do with their genders. Thank GOD there is plenty of kind and caring men in the world. 

I'm more concerned if we (humanity) are open to allowing men to be kind and loving. 

Come on; it's the 21st century, and we would have figured this stuff out by now. But here we are, still struggling with the same old prejudices and stereotypes.

I've been pondering over this status quo.

Well, I have a theory. And it's a doozy. Are you ready for it?

Our gender biases will not change unless we change our behaviours!

I know, I know. 

Mind-blowing stuff, right? But hear me out.

We all have these unconscious biases that we've picked up over the years through traditions, the media, the movies, our parents, grandparents etc.  

But whatever the reason, these biases are deeply ingrained in our minds.

And what do we do with these biases? 

We act on them. 

We make assumptions about people based on gender, stereotype them, and discriminate against them. 

Yes, even the 'good' people!

And all of these actions reinforce our biases and make them even more deeply ingrained.

It's like a vicious cycle and a never-ending game of gender bias whack-a-mole. And the only way to break the process is to change our behaviours.

But how do we do that?

Well, for starters, we need to be aware of our behaviours, actions and reactions. Everything we do has a cause and effect.   

How you talk to a man vs a woman.

How you judge a man vs a woman.

How do you expect men to do one thing and women to do another - regardless of who they are?

We are so enslaved in this process. It's hilarious! - All due to saving our little brains a few calories!

For example, instead of assuming that the woman in the meeting will take notes, ask her if she would like to lead the discussion. Instead of thinking that the man standing in front of a car with a flat tire will fix it himself, ask him if he needs help... yes, even if you are a woman!

It may seem small, but these actions can make a big difference.

But it's not just about individual actions. We also need to create a culture that values diversity and inclusivity. We need to promote both men and women (and, yes, non-binary, too) to leadership positions. We need to educate ourselves and others about the effects of bias and discrimination.

We need to give ourselves and others space to recognise our biases. One way of doing this is gently pointing out to people when you notice they are judging another person by their gender stereotypes. 

In the No More Boxes movement, we talk about saying kindly:" I think you just put that person into a stereotype box." 

During the learning process, we often only realise we are stuck in the gender box when we open our mouths (and form out loud our thoughts).

When we do that, it's essential to be transparent and authentic and admit that you are noticing that you are doing things by your old programs. 

It's much better to say: "Sorry, I see I'm making an assumption", than to try to cover it.

It's not impossible. ;-)

So, let's all do our part to break the cycle of gender bias. 

Let's change our behaviours and create a more equal and just society. 

 How about we focus more on our freedom? Freedom to be ourselves!  

Because, let's face it, we're all tired of playing this game. And it's time to bring it to an end.

A part of this article was originally posted on MEDIUM.com