RÚNA MAGNÚS

View Original

Your words are holding you hostage in a stereotype box

The more I know, the more I know how little I know.

About 3 years ago - I was not aware of the depth of this wisdom!

Your unconscious is running your life, neuroscientists say it’s 95-98% of the time, and that means most of the time, you’re not consciously aware of why you make the decisions you make.

Before you judge me and put me into the ‘stupid-box’ let me explain.

I knew a bit intellectually about our unconscious-mind. I also thought I was aware of how we are all conditioned by programs that are consistently running in our background in our unconscious mind.

I also knew that in the first 7 seconds we meet another person, we make 11 judgements on that person. Is this person a friend, a foe? Is this person my superior, below me, etc.? All based on our unconscious programs. The boxes that we put ourselves and others into.

Yes, I knew all this… intellectually.

On top of that, I have an extreme view, opinion, believe around the power of gender equality and equity - meaning leadership roles should be just as much for women as it is for men - or that being a caregiver or taking care of the family. The home should also just as much be for men as it is for women.

I thought I had been working from that place for most of my life.

HOWEVER! - the day I realised that despite all of my intellect, believes and mission in life - I have treated, judged, ridiculed MEN - I have put them into a box that was NOT giving them the freedom to be who they were born to be.

I realised that without knowing it (hence it’s unconscious) that I had treated men horribly throughout my lifetime, by the box that I had put them into;

The Man Stereotype: Men don’t cry, are strong, don’t show emotions.

As the results of this box, I have broken hearts. I have made terrible jokes that I would never have said about any woman. I have treated men this way because my perception of the stereotype male box, I was so sure it would not matter to them at all, because “Men don’t cry, are strong, don’t show emotions - ergo, it does not affect them if I treat them this way.”

Before you judge me. Watch your reactions! What comes up for you?

Have you perhaps done that yourself? - Have you treated men this way because you kinda thought it was okay because the stereotype box you had put them in was similar to the box I had put them in and even locked the key? - Or are you perhaps a man, who has been trying to fit into that stereotype box, knowing deep inside that you are not this stereotype.

As part of our work with #NoMoreBoxes Movement, which looks at how we put people and ourselves into boxes, we have been exploring the gender box, wealth and money box, parent box and racial box to name a few.

Change One Word - Change Your World.

We have a choice. We can choose to stick to the old’ stereotype box and hold humanity in hostage as the result of that box - or we can choose to set humanity free and create space for the real issue.

Add one four-letter-word into your statements!

That one word is SOME: Some men don’t cry, are strong and don’t show emotions.”

Notice how this statement changes everything, within you and within your reactions towards the group you were boxing.

And to all the men out there whom I have met throughout my life and treated this way. I sincerely apologize for my behaviour, I just wasn’t aware that I had put you into that Stereotype Man Box!

#ImGuilty #SomeNotAll #NoMoreBoxes #Stereotypes